Im exactly like you only I’ve learned to recognise and stomp on the reaction.
I still get needlessly pissed about things, to an unreasonable degree. But then I recognise that my reaction is out of proportion to the problem and that wether I stomp on it or not, I’m still going to have the problem the only thing I have control over is if I’m stomping around like an asshole while I fix it.
You just have to take your Ego and set it aside when you catch yourself, you cant defend the reaction because its irrational. So recognise it, stomp on it and then work the problem like a normal person.