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Mouselemming ,

Kids spend a huge amount of time at school. A good kid’s name needs to be yellable across the playground, (I knew a kid named Garfield, who went by Gar. Fine for conversation but you couldn’t call him without sounding idiotic.) singable for Happy Birthday, (my own is awkwardly long and off-meter) and not an obvious rhyme for any embarrassing body parts or functions. (Mulva?) It helps if it is spelled in a way that supports correct pronunciation, or at least doesn’t suggest an awkward mispronunciation. Kamylia (pronounced like camellia) works, Cameltoe doesn’t. A foreign language name, like an heirloom, should have a provenance or family story. Not just random appropriation. “I named my kid Shanghai because he’s how his mom Shanghaied me into marriage.” Terrible, but at least it’s better than nothing.

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