kescusay

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in Russia puts Ukraine's Zelenskiy on wanted list

Yes, but Ukraine is currently at war with Russia and on hyper-alert for Russians trying to assassinate their president. They’ve stopped numerous assassination plots against him.

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in Russia puts Ukraine's Zelenskiy on wanted list

Why would he? He’s not in Russia (no matter how much Putin plays pretend on that).

kescusay , 2 months ago to nottheonion in Man Stopped at Miami International Airport with Snakes in his Pants/

I am sick of these monkey-fighting snakes in my Monday-to-Friday pants!

kescusay , 2 months ago to nottheonion in Have you seen this emotional support gator? Wally's owner says he's lost in Georgia

Ah damn! Wally is practically our mascot! Nooooooo!

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in Brazil: 37 killed and dozens missing in worst floods in 80 years

No, I mean the events themselves will be “saying” that, not that people should get out there and instigate panic. Sorry if that didn’t come through.

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in Brazil: 37 killed and dozens missing in worst floods in 80 years

Oh, it won’t be meaningless. The meaning will be remarkably clear: “Hey, everyone, we’re having hundred-year worsts every week now, and you should all be shitting your pants over it instead of what you’re actually doing, which is sticking your fingers in your ears and going, ‘la-la-la, I can’t hear you.’”

kescusay , 2 months ago to nottheonion in Caitlyn Jenner’s rumored trans girlfriend is apparently really transphobic

For the record, folks: Deadnaming a trans person will earn you an instant, permanent ban.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled real-life-imitating-The-Onion content.

kescusay , 2 months ago to nottheonion in Google is building a fart button into Android

Google solving the important issues, here.

kescusay , 2 months ago to showerthoughts in Your body is completely dark except for the 1 molecule outside layer that light hits.

If you count light outside of the human visible spectrum, it’s bright pretty much everywhere. Like, getting away from light requires specially constructed facilities.

kescusay , 2 months ago to news in Video footage reveals ‘Kill the Jews’ remark used to explain police intervention made by pro-Israel counterprotester in provocation

That is absolutely happening. Lots of that crap from Russia and China, too.

Doesn’t excuse Israel’s horrific behavior, of course.

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in South Korea radical Christians warn of “homosexual dictatorship” after opposition wins

Fellow cishet. I, for one, welcome our fabulous overlords.

kescusay , 2 months ago to news in Israel fears ICC will issue arrest warrants for Netanyahu and other top officials

Issue them, ICC.

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in Bird flu outbreak in Jharkhand; 2 doctors, 6 others quarantined in Ranchi | Ranchi News - Times of India

Yep. I still worry about that fucking asshole’s pro-virus fan club, though. You just know they’ll go out of their way just to contract H5N1 and “prove” it’s just a cold. And they’ll die in droves again, taking Innocent people with them.

kescusay , 2 months ago to world in Bird flu outbreak in Jharkhand; 2 doctors, 6 others quarantined in Ranchi | Ranchi News - Times of India

According to the CDC, vaccines are already in the works.

kescusay , 3 months ago to news in Bird flu has now jumped to cows - and their milk. Could humans be next?

I can already hear the cries of “99.7% survival rate!” and “Give me hydroxychloroquine or (and) give me death!”