FuglyDuck

FuglyDuck OP , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

You sure it wasnt a fetish-thing? That sounds a lot like something idiots would do. (Right up there with getting your dick stick in a pool filter intake… the guy actually thinks he’s entitled to workman’s comp, and unemployment benefits, too….)

FuglyDuck OP , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

Somebody had fun with that one…,

Weirdos.

FuglyDuck OP , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

He had an incision from surgery, in his abdomen. It came out that way.

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to aww in Cow sleeping in someone's lap.

So, my parents had this dachshund. Dachshunds are dumb, and will literally pick a fight with anything (and then run and hide behind you.)

One time I was dog sitting- Tootsie was just a puppy, it was wonderful weather for late spring so I went camping, taking her with.

Gonna go fly fishing and catch breakfast, was waiting for the sun to come up with my coffee and this bear comes up the opposite side of the creek.

Tootsie being the dumbass, starts yapping.

The bear looks at her. Its expression is “you know you’re not even a snack, right?”,

It looks at me. “You know she’s not even a snack?”

My expression is “I know, I know. Shut up tootsie. Yer a snack!”

The bear gives this sort of shrug I took as, “Okay. Just do you know.” And moved off down the stream.

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to aww in Cow sleeping in someone's lap.

Pretty sure it was actually food scraps that got ‘em. Scritches came later.

FuglyDuck OP , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

As long as the intestines don’t get sliced up or covered in crap (and need debriding,) they’ll just button it back up and repeat the healing process. This time with added instructions to not sneeze.

He had abdominal surgery, and the force of sneezing opened up the incision. Which isn’t exactly unheard of. The big thing is to avoid making it worse. Which sounds obvious, but people are dumb; and when they just blew their guts out their stomachs…. People are even dumber.

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to world in Israeli Supreme Court rules that the military must begin drafting ultra-Orthodox men

This is my go to when people are over around that time of year and want to watch a “Christmas classic”

Usually they’re something depressing like It’s a Wonderful Life or something straight up annoying, like The Grinch.

(Can I just say it- the Who’s of Whoville are shitty neighbors.)

A runner up is Home Alone.

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Smiling robot face is made from living human skin cells

Look. Just because its face is made out of viscera, doesn’t mean it’s going to try and kill you and maybe make a jacket out of you.

FuglyDuck OP , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

I mean I stuck around just long enough to cross post, so, eh… good on you for volunteering…

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to nottheonion in Smiling robot face is made from living human skin cells

Pretty sure that’s actually the goal.

Could be wrong. But you know this is gonna find its way on a sexbot, eventually.

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to cat in Massive chonk

Oh… that’s definitely a dragon.

Better drop your grilled fish and all your gold.

FuglyDuck , 6 days ago to news in Boebert faces first election Tuesday since switching districts and the vaping scandal

Cursed Seuss

FuglyDuck , 7 days ago to news in Trump expects Biden to be a 'worthy debater' after spending months attacking his mental fitness

Can we just hand these two dueling sabers already?

FuglyDuck , 7 days ago to news in Fearing Losses, Banks Are Quietly Dumping Real Estate Loans

Sucks to be a CRO, heh.

FuglyDuck , 7 days ago to cat in Pink beanz

I thought OP liquified their toebeans for second…

(Pretty sure that’s pastey-snack stuff)(or it’s brain barf)