If you want to use the couples therapy analogy, it would be more like you were forced into an arranged marriage with an abusive person, then you got forcefully divorced and remarried, then divorced again and your first ex-spouse started beating you (again) and trying to remarry you, then after decades of separation that ex-ex is now forcing you at gun point to go to couples therapy because they don’t want you to keep the property you got in the divorce settlement.
If you want to talk about the yankees, it would be more like the south successfully seceded but later decided they wanted to start a war to be one country again.