I was required to stop eating pangolin after I was Patient Zero for a global coronavirus pandemic but I’m glad they’re being bred and domesticated. I do miss pangolin soup so and this gives me hope that I’ll get another ladle someday without all the repurcussions.
And if anyone wants to argue with me that it was bats or a lab leak, I want to be very clear: bat soup sucks — the texture bothers me more than the flavor — and I stopped cheating on my wives with virologists after my new therapist helped me understand I was really cheating on my own immune system.