“Listen, man. I got a whole strip of desert to give weapons and funding to because they’re my lobbyists and defense industry bffs. I need you to hunker down and hold off the Russians by yourself until after my elections. I promise i’ll send you all the 30 year old decommissioned weapons you want with a 5% discount after the IDF finishes massacring some hobos on their land. Trust me man, it’ll be worth the wait. Imagine getting your hands on some old ass Merkava with RPG holes at reduced price. It’ll totally be enough to stop Putin, I swear.”