onlinepersona , 4 hours ago

This poor woman needs therapy. It seems like everything around her triggers her and she has thus come to identify all men as culprits. Even going as far as calling her husband an asshole (might be true, I’m not married to the dude).

Edit: of course there are misogynists out there, but it’s not everybody. Maybe in the US the percentage in tech is higher, who knows.

A comment like “you don’t look like a computer scientist” leads her to make a core point about how she believes others view women.
People tell me I don’t look like a programmer and they are right. My attire is that of what happened to be on the top of the pile that day. Very little thought goes into it. One day I could look like a bum, another a builder, another a knowledge worker, and another a street thug. I don’t take it as an insult unless there is clarification that it’s because of some other feature.

Her proof to the next core point of expertise has nothing to do with expertise either: criticising a high pitched voice has very little to do with perceived expertise.
I sat in a class there the most common critique of the male professor was: he talks too quickly. It didn’t reflect on his expertise, just his mode of talking. And they were right BTW, he had heavy accent, didn’t enunciate, and spoke rapidly. Unlearning that would be very difficult.
I appreciate that it’s different from a physical attribute, but behaviours are quite difficult to change. We had a female professor who got similar feedback, tried to speak slowly and it worked for 5 minutes of every lecture before she sped away again. No-one thought she was not an expert. She just had major difficulty talking slowly (like the other male prof).

As for dating in the workplace: adults spend a large part of their time awake at work. Are you really surprised feelings develop there? I wouldn’t shit where I eat, hut that’s a personal thing. Many others would (men and women alike). We also live in a society where men are expected to make the first move which, in addition to roles at work, makes things even more complicated. Some people will switch jobs just so that they can get that degree of separation.
I understand that for somebody who doesn’t see work as a place to get emotions it might be annoying, but not everybody’s the same, nor does it always have to do with “the patriarchy” or whatever.

Oof…

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