I feel you. I wasn’t ever as big a fan as you, but had a depressing moment somewhere in the middle of Picard S2 right after disco s4 (which I didn’t enjoy) where I realised that I just didn’t like new-Trek and had been doing my best to enjoy it as a fan not realising the work I was putting in. It all slipped away and I was just depressed for a bit. It’s the reason I haven’t started disco season 5 (while I was watching the other seasons live).