Hey look, buddy. I’m an engineer, that means I solve problems. Not problems like “What is beauty?”, ‘cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems! For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin’ me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer? Use a gun. And if that don’t work, use more gun. Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol’ number designed by me, built by me, and you’d best hope… not pointed at you.