Russia likes to say they have a big and powerful military. The us likes to say “we have a weak military, please more congress money”. Based in Ukraine, I think the us would win (if you can call it that) in MAD.
Also you are right that the anti ICBM capabilities has increased in each nation. Also each nation is increasing the ICBM nuke speed to render the anti ICBM ineffective. I hope we never have to find out beyond “theory”