Gotcha. I don't want to get you in trouble, so no need to say anymore if you don't want.
I used to be very patriotic myself, but America's invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq began to change that for me. I was told it was to defend our way of life, and to bring democracy and freedom to a hostile land. The reality was we were in there for territorial control, to support Saudi-Arabia's regime, for Oil and other resources, and to support an overgrown military industrial complex that demands that we remain in conflict to justify our existence. I went from believing America was the best country in the world to being disillusioned.
I don't know much about you, but I can kinda understand that love for one's country. It's where you were born afterall, where your family and friends are, and it's the cultural background you call home. That's what I still love about my country, and even my region of the US despite everything. I have lived in Japan for the last 7 years, but I will still always see the American south as my home, and I will always have a fondness for it.
I kinda see patriotism as being a parent. Like a child, you want the best for your country, but you don't want it to go down a bad path, get in trouble, or do something regrettable. My country has done a lot unfortunately, but that's why I'm critical of it. I want my country to do better. Believe it or not, I actually like Russia a lot too. It's culture and food is very interesting to me, and most Russians I have met have been very friendly. This is part of the reason this war in Ukraine has been very excruciating to me. I hate seeing what Russia is doing to Ukraine, yet at the same time, I hate what is happening to the Russians as well. Many of them don't want to fight. Many of them have fled the country or gone into hiding, and many who were not so lucky are dying in Ukraine. I'm relieved you don't want to fight there, but I don't want you too be arrested either. I just hope you stay safe.