Okay I gotcha. I definitely think its easy to get caught up in the battle of the sexes, I definitely grew up with intense messaging about generalizing both sexes, so I sometimes have to catch myself before randomly thinking X is doing that “cause they’re a man/woman”.
I still sometimes fall into it but i eventually met so many different/interesting men and women that I stopped being able to assign expectations to them based on the sex I saw them as. Took a long time though/i think its a lifelong journey. I like that you can identify that it is something you are projecting onto them because you want to but don’t understand. That’s a great foundation to build understanding on