The first 35 years of my life I was surrounded by nothing but Midwestern American conservatives, with splashes of evangelical Christians in the mix. I was raised that we should love our neighbors, give to the poor and needy, work hard, and or needs would be met. When I was no longer a child the clarifications started to creep in. I should love and help others, but only if they really deserved it. Who deserved it had a long list of unspoken qualifiers. If my needs weren’t being met, I must not be working hard enough, even if that meant working 2 jobs and my health suffering for it.
In my 30s I had the opportunity to meet people outside my bubble, and what do you know - I started recognizing the hypocrisy I was raised with and living, and finally started to grow as a person.