I had a fear of consequence and paranoia that something I did now might affect the future, which left me often very indecisive. Admittedly this was likely trauma that resulted from my parents being divorced at such a young age and my mother lying about it being one sided. Although later, she did admit that she was speaking out of hurt, and both of my parents agree that it was a mutual thing. I do have a healthy relationship with both parents, but damn the initial loss did fuck me up in some ways I’ve never gotten over.