I’m glad you’re finding the info helpful and insightful.
I think with regards to use of language, this is another good read (E: also the understanding-disability link I attached earlier will will probably help with the “why” behind thinking “disabled” is a slur). It might be coming at this from a slightly different angle, but I think the point still stands - “politeness”, “offence”, “political correctness” these are terms most often used by the privileged to police the speech of and control marginalised people (aka “respectability politics”), rather than the other way around, but I might be digressing a little at this point lol…