I legitimately want to run Linux as my desktop OS, please tell me how to meet my requirements.

Okay, all you who post on every post “you should just switch to Linux”. Here’s your chance. I’m someone who really does want to run Linux on the desktop. I run Linux servers at home, was a Unix sysadmin for years running Linux on the desktop in the ‘90s. But now I’m in sales and run Windows at work (actually very...