I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill here my man. Having no questions asked 14 days to see if you like not only the form factor but also the stock OS sounds pretty good. I think it’d be just as annoying to hold the phone for 5 minutes, buy it, and then find out later you have gripes with the OS that you don’t like.
Even though you think it’s annoying to do, it might be worth the trouble to atleast try the phone you aren’t familiar with.