My girlfriend’s phone applies patches automatically and puts a notification up suggesting to restart or schedule a restart over night and it just gets ignored. I press the button whenever I see it though.
People don’t like being inconvenienced even if there’s an option just do do everything over night while charging, and even if everything was automatic and updates were just installed over night I guarantee people would find something to complain about. Unfortunately there’s no winning, but I agree that increased security from opt out updates would be beneficial.