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ch00f ,

Wonder if they have to pay out to what the coroner determines is the time of death?

Mouselemming ,

Hey she was still at work, she gets the full 4 days!

KellysNokia ,

Wells Fargo allegedly fired over a dozen employees for using mouse jigglers.

I wonder if the check in was disciplinary for insufficient realistic mouse movement.

ArmokGoB ,

I did that for 10 months there because they wouldn’t assign me work.

NobodyElse ,

I did that because 2 minute screen lock plus crazy long password requirements made working hell. The alternative was going to be an arduino usb hid device that typed the password when a button was pressed.

Having unrealistic, bad security rules are counterproductive.

Fermion ,

I’m a little surprised that I’ve never seen bluetooth pressure switches in office chairs to lock workstations when the employee stands up.

Because clearly you need more meddling in your workflow for the sake of security theater.

exu ,

Or a smartcard based login where you could just remove the card

Galapagon ,

Pressure plate? Obviously it should be a chair mounted butt plug that locks the screen when removed from anus.

CarbonatedPastaSauce ,

2 minute screen lock

Are you fucking kidding me? That’s ridiculous.

SolarMonkey ,

My prior job logged everyone (employees and customers alike) out of the portal after 5 min of inactivity, but uploads to the site often took much longer than that, to say nothing of checking things over, so half the support contacts we got were whining about the timeout, and the only thing I had to say to the people complaining was “yeah man, we have the timeout too, and have to use the site on and off all day, year round, not just for three days a year… I totally agree with you, it doesn’t help, but even our dummy data on test accounts is subject to those rules, so I can’t help you…”

Instead, I learned the site inside and out by memory (I built the knowledge bases for everything, as a result) and sent the security team every article I could find about how short timeouts were bad for SaaS security because they make people use less secure passwords and skip mfa.

Blackout ,
@Blackout@fedia.io avatar

My business partner in his previous job went into the office early one day and found one of his coworkers jacking off in his cubicle. Guess he'd been doing it for years, showing up before everyone and jerking it in a different place every time. That company he worked for: Boeing. They were engineers and they developed the predator drones.

Lost_My_Mind ,

None of what you said surprises me.

It offends me (them, not you), but it doesn’t surprise me.

JimmyBigSausage OP ,

“An employee who spoke with KPNX said Prudhomme’s cubicle was on the third floor and away from the main aisle.

The employee, who did not want to be named, said several people had smelled a foul odor but passed it off as faulty plumbing.”

Fiivemacs ,

It’s the smell of corporate America.

JimmyBigSausage OP ,

I have never felt more alone thinking of this for her. Relates too close to home, for me anyway.

JimmyBigSausage OP ,

This is one of the saddest things I have read.

queermunist ,
@queermunist@lemmy.ml avatar

You know your job is real and matters when you can literally die and they don’t notice for nearly a week.

ImplyingImplications ,

“No you can’t work from home, how can we tell if you’re actually working or not?”

_bcron ,

And the only reason they notice is because they’re about to drag you into HR over ‘time theft’

over_clox ,

Too bad she didn’t stay there for a week, the overtime pay would have covered her funeral…

empireOfLove2 , (edited )
@empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

lol the corporation will find out the exact second she died from the coroner and then truncate the time card to that second

cuz fuck the family, labor laws don’t apply after death

KellysNokia ,

And then charge her checking account a $15 monthly service fee for insufficient direct deposits

empireOfLove2 ,
@empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

And a cleaning fee for the desk, and a phone line rental fee, and also opened 3 extra credit cards in her name while she was dead.

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