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halfbit_ , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic A very dumb advice, they give you in #communication & #mediation seminars, is "I-statements". As in: start accusations with "I feel". This is unfair, because I cannot prove my feelings, you cannot disprove them, and they are my sole responsibility anyway. What's fair are "you" statements: "YOU did X". Now things are provable, measurable, disputable. And with you-statements, problems actually end. "You made that claim April 2nd, and I disproved it. New evidence or STFU."
@actuallyautistic A very dumb advice, they give you in #communication & #mediation seminars, is "I-statements". As in: start accusations with "I feel".
This is unfair, because I cannot prove my feelings, you cannot disprove them, and they are my sole responsibility anyway.
What's fair are "you" statements: "YOU did X". Now things are provable, measurable, disputable.
And with you-statements, problems actually end. "You made that claim April 2nd, and I disproved it. New evidence or STFU."