This poor woman needs therapy. It seems like everything around her triggers her and she has thus come to identify all men as culprits. Even going as far as calling her husband an asshole (might be true, I’m not married to the dude).
Edit: of course there are misogynists out there, but it’s not everybody. Maybe in the US the percentage in tech is higher, who knows.
A comment like “you don’t look like a computer scientist” leads her to make a core point about how she believes others view women.
People tell me I don’t look like a programmer and they are right. My attire is that of what happened to be on the top of the pile that day. Very little thought goes into it. One day I could look like a bum, another a builder, another a knowledge worker, and another a street thug. I don’t take it as an insult unless there is clarification that it’s because of some other feature.
Her proof to the next core point of expertise has nothing to do with expertise either: criticising a high pitched voice has very little to do with perceived expertise.
I sat in a class there the most common critique of the male professor was: he talks too quickly. It didn’t reflect on his expertise, just his mode of talking. And they were right BTW, he had heavy accent, didn’t enunciate, and spoke rapidly. Unlearning that would be very difficult.
I appreciate that it’s different from a physical attribute, but behaviours are quite difficult to change. We had a female professor who got similar feedback, tried to speak slowly and it worked for 5 minutes of every lecture before she sped away again. No-one thought she was not an expert. She just had major difficulty talking slowly (like the other male prof).
As for dating in the workplace: adults spend a large part of their time awake at work. Are you really surprised feelings develop there? I wouldn’t shit where I eat, hut that’s a personal thing. Many others would (men and women alike). We also live in a society where men are expected to make the first move which, in addition to roles at work, makes things even more complicated. Some people will switch jobs just so that they can get that degree of separation.
I understand that for somebody who doesn’t see work as a place to get emotions it might be annoying, but not everybody’s the same, nor does it always have to do with “the patriarchy” or whatever.
Even going as far as calling her husband an asshole (might be true, I’m not married to the dude).
You misunderstood the text, the sentence is :
If only I got a penny for every time someone said: you don’t look like a computer scientist, I could be Mackenzie Scott without having to marry an asshole.
She’s calling Jeff Bezos an asshole, not her own husband.
You have a lot of issues and you might want to look at why this triggered you so much. Are you behaving this way because it made you re-examine your own past behavior?
Used to work in digital design. By pure happenstance the foundational initial team on a major project was all women and we recognised that wasn’t a good balance in terms of external perception but also in terms of getting different perspectives on design approaches.
We managed to recruit some great blokes, but they were hard to find. So many of the new dudes didn’t work out because it was so obvious how inferior they perceived us women to be. Very few of them had the skills to warrant any level of arrogance, let alone full blown superiority complex.
it was so obvious how inferior they perceived us women to be
How do you know that they perceived you as inferior? Did they actually say “Women are inferior to men.”?
Very few of them had the skills to warrant any level of arrogance, let alone full blown superiority complex.
It sounds like they felt intimidated in a new environment, and they were trying to find their position in the team. That’s disappointing for all parties.
Having worked with designers in an ad agency (although not a designer myself), the male designers didn’t ever have a good thing to say about the work of any of the female designers. Consequently, none of them stuck around for long (one of them is a creative director in a big agency now, so presumably she wasn’t that bad).
Then again, they were assholes in many other respects as well, and the guys in the next companies I worked for were a lot better.
I don’t want to take away from the initial topic at hand but I’d genuinely be interested to hear what similarities and differences you encounter (as someone who once thought of working in a female dominated workplace but got reality checked quickly out of the idea by bad experiences)
When I was hiring a developer to come on to my all white male team I was really hoping for a woman to apply. Sadly, that never happened. I was able to cut down on the whiteness though, and no I didn’t pick a lesser candidate because they weren’t white. It was just coincidence.
I found a technique that worked well for me. I want to share with you and others, but I don’t want to come across as judging you in anyway. It’s hard to find great candidates of any sort. And I wouldn’t necessarily recommend my technique to every company, because it’s just not reasonable in all cases.
I’ve found that the best way to get a good mix of people hired onto the team is to do more than hope that it happens.
I had to get out to workshops, conferences, and meetups. Local universities had groups that I got in touch with. I had to make connections with the communities that I was looking to hire from. It was a lot of hard work.
But once you’ve developed those connections, candidates roll in with surprising regularity for a long time. After two years I had a team of 10 great devs with a 50/50 split between genders and a huge range of background and cultures. It was the most fun team to work with and we made awesome stuff.
Shortly after publishing this article in her blog, she also published a gh repo collecting incidents of misogynism github.com/iyzhang/misogyny/It would be great if people can give it a read or contribute incidents.
Glad to see this article is eventually published by the ACM.
I feel it really depends on the country you work with. Back in Sweden it was such a sausage fest. But since I started working with people from Russia, Ukraine and especially China it changed significantly. OK top management is still full of dudes, but middle management and the people who do the implementation is a good mix. About 40℅ women even in positions of power. Korea seems to be somewhere in the middle.
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