iarpa.gov

FinalBoy1975 , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

Grandma: “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” SMARTePANTS: “Your kids should have gotten you a life alert necklace button thingy. I’m just here to observe. They wasted their 19.95 on the wrong thing.”

NocturnalMorning , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

Now I’m curious, we have a lot of classified research that people don’t know about. Can I hide a surveillance camera a dogs fart?

ApeNo1 , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

“Alright team. Let’s play back the recordings and see if we finally have this mob boss confessing to those hits”. Plays back recording.

“Then I walked up behind him and” … audio is constantly interrupted by a string of loud farts.

“I’m sorry Captain. Jones did Taco Bell for lunch that day and the microphone on those pants are so close to the brass section of the band so to speak.”

mwalimu , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

Which government? Don’t assume the US to be THE universal government. 😀

RaoulDook , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

Ugh what the fuck.

How are these going to interface with my D-Pants? Are they even compatible?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEwjogp4wIo

NocturnalMorning , 9 months ago

Probably not, they want to sell you their version.

BlinkerFluid , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

alright sir, step through the machine again

Beeeep

Alright sir… the underwear.

diseasedolm , 9 months ago to nottheonion in The Government is funding over $20 million for the development of Surveillance Clothing called SMARTePANTS

The technology they are proposing to develop to do this sounds pretty sick tho:

“”" weavable conductive polymer “wires”, energy harvesters powered by the body, ultra-low power printable computers on cloth, microphones that behave like threads, and “scrunchable” batteries that can function after many deformations. “”"

archengel , 9 months ago

However they don’t seem to have any of that tech yet:

“In order to transfer this research into AST products, revolutionary new materials and manufacturing techniques are needed to develop complete and integrated systems containing mechanically deformable and durable: 1) power sources, 2) sensors, 3) computation and data storage, and 4) electrically conductive system component “wires” and interconnects.”